whatdoyoumeme | THE FLOOR IS LITERALLY LAVA

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THE FLOOR IS LITERALLY LAVA

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is inspired by annoyance that the bakerstreet floor is lava meme is just a share the bed thing

Well, this sucks. The floor is lava and if you touch it, you're dead. Let's hope you've got good balance! Some options to get you started:

1. In the house: Maybe there was some magic gone wrong. Maybe you shouldn't have bought the neat new "lavafication ray" even though the infomercial made it sound super cool. No idea.

2. At a volcano: Are you on a scientific mission? Throwing the One Ring into the depths of Mordor? Sight seeing? Really really lost?? WHO KNOWS but now you're at an actual volcano and there is some actual goddamn lava that you better be careful not to step in because it's lava and you will die.

3. Out and about: Maybe you're at a park. Maybe you're on the street. Maybe you're at a playground which is pretty lucky because there's a lot of equipment that I'm pretty sure is lava proof if I know anything about playground construction. Either way, the ground is now made of lava and you'd better not touch it.

4. The floor is figuratively lava: if you really want to just hang around on top of furniture and NOT risk burning to death I GUESS you can do that.

5. Wildcard: I'm sure there are other options I haven't thought of. Go nuts. AND DON'T TOUCH THE FLOOR. IT'S LAVA.

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[ Oh look, it's Nightless City. ]

[How the hell is the FSOTUS in this situation??? IT IS A MYSTERY.]

[Honestly this tracks with his life.]

Edited 2020-05-19 01:14 (UTC)

[Why are we on Mustafar??]

[Sure would be nice to have a princess with indestructible hair around right now.]

Cass!

[Rapunzel swoops into whatever part of the castle Cass is in, panting a little as she gathers up her hair.]

Varian- it was supposed to be... floor wax. But well, you see. He's working on a new solution now, but are you okay?

Varian.

[He might be one of her favorite people but sometimes she would like to push him into lava.

Cass' fists are balled, as though she's ready to fight the lava, which would... really not work very well. She glares around at the floor.]

I'm fine. I was just... taken by surprise is all.

[Did Bismuth leave the lava running...]

[Yes she did, and she doesn't seem to notice anything wrong with it as she just kind of wades through it.]

Oh, hey Steven! What are you doing up there?

[Luckily most of the place has been built to be lava resistant through magical gem carpentry of some sort, but that only helps Steven himself so much! Right now, he's balancing himself precariously atop a cabinet that's floating through the lava.]

O-oh, you know, just enjoying the view! [He sheepishly attempts a quip before going on.]

So, uh! Bismuth! Funny coincidence, I was just thinking about you! You... remember that time a long time ago when I said I'm not exactly lava-proof...?

Oh sure! [She is not making the connection yet.] That was back when we first met and oh... are you saying you're still not lava-proof?

[To be fair he's pretty much everything else-proof. ~~Except ptsd.~~]

[A meek nod.]

That's... what I'm getting at, yeah! A lot of things have changed since then, but that is not one of them. I don't even know if my shield or bubble can withstand it...

[So here he is. He rubs at his head.]

So, uh, it'd be nice to find a way to stop all of this.

Oh!

[Yeah, she gets it now. She looks around, frowning, then wades over to him and holds out an arm for him to get onto.]

I can hold you up. Let's go find the drain.

[He lets out a soft chuckle as the realization hits her. And then he grins.]

Now that's what I hoped to hear! It's time for me to get down to Bismuth.

[With that, he gives a quick hop onto Bismuth's arm! The good thing about gems, especially Bismuth, is that it's still just as easy for any of them to support him even now that he's grown.]

[That gets a full laugh out of her and she slaps him on the back, almost, but not quite, hard enough to shove him off her shoulder. This is why she likes Steven so much. Well, one of a lot of reasons.]

We'll get this taken care of before you Steven know it!

[He may teeter just a bit! And be thankful that the slap wasn't just a bit harder. That could have ended this little excursion a whole lot earlier! At her response, he not only laughs, but he gets starry eyed.]

My name got the joke treatment! I'm honored, Bismuth. I guess it all Stevens out in the end! [It feels great for him to do it too!]

[vault mission? slagma on pandora? hell if i know. i can take her from 2 or 3 but i prefer to ignore That No Good Very Bad Thing that happened in 3 we don't talk about that :( ]

[can take from 2, 3, or tftbl canonpoints. let's be real this is probably related to either a vault or a contract. maybe both.]

[You know why the floor is lava? Because somebody totally flooded the facility with it for shits and giggles.]

I thought it was getting a little cold in here, assassin! Much better now though, right?

NOTE TO SELF: NO MORE SECRET VOLCANO LAIRS.

Edited 2020-06-04 14:50 (UTC)

[Gundam Tanaka is a boy born with a unique quirk: by petting any animal, he can connect with their heart and understand their wants and needs. He has never tried to be a hero, and instead he puts his quirk to work in raising and breeding various animals. He has a bit of a social media presence, including a blog giving out tips about caring for animals. ...He is also known for adding claims about having other deadly quirks and being some kind of villain who was born from a demon, but there's never been any actual evidence supporting any of that.

Now, he finds himself in a bit of a jam. A lava villain has been defeated without any casualties, but there's still a river of lava going down one street, and some people are stranded on different surfaces that have not been consumed by the lava. This includes one piece of rubble that is sailing through the lava. Standing on it is Gundam Tanaka, with four hamsters perched on his shoulders.]

Kehehe! I suppose this isle will just have to serve as the new capital pf the Tanaka Empire! The incredible mobile fortress sails through the river of fire... [He grins, trying to take this situation in stride and treat this as part of his plan, even as heroes have been called in to help people evacuate.]

[Sorry, Gundam, but your empire has to wait. Ochako - hero name Uravity - is on the scene with other various pro heroes, working to manage the lava flow and secure any persons caught in the crossfire. The villain's quirk was a nuisance, definitely, and would require quite a lot of work to rebuild infrastructure and any residential and businesses. Honestly, these guys...it makes Ochako furious, knowing they can run amok like this where innocent people are just trying to get by.]

You there!! [She call, perched atop the roof of a heavily damaged car, which seems to be floating effortlessly in the air a good twenty or thirty feet up.] Are you hurt?! Can you reach me on your own?!

[Gundam pays little mind to the coming of the so-called heroes. Some of them might be really cool, but he prefers to get through things his own way. And sometimes his own way involves riding a piece of debris down a lava river!

But he does notice one of them calling out to her. That is a girl atop a flying car! Gundam... tries to keep his cool as he responds. Luckily, it's easy for his voice to carry when he tries to making such booming declarations.]

Ha! How laughable, to think that a true overlord such as myself could be harmed by such a tepid lava flow! If I so willed it... I- I could easily cross any expanse! [He doesn't sound too confident about it. Jumping up to a flying car is a little much.]

But I have no need for your flying machine! This hellish raft is serving me quite effectively...!

[Uh...sure, dude. Sure. Ochako blinks, slowly - she's never met anyone so clearly in need of rescue deny it like this. Is this guy really so delirious that he can't see the danger he's in right now? Plus all those little pets of his. She wants to be, erm...supportive(???) of his manly pride or whatever, but this is ridiculous.]

Mmh, you say that... [She mumbles to herself, then clears her throat.] It's not safe up ahead!! A The lava caused a local park to catch fire! If you continue forward, the air quality will become deadly. I can get you somewhere else, if you're not hurt!

[He pauses as he listens to her warning. Some sweat running down his forehead now.]

What?! [He takes a moment to process that - and he looks towards his hamsters with concern.]

...Hmph. Some toxic air is nothing to a being as teeming with poison as myself! But... it might disrupt the earthly forms of the Four Dark Devas of Destruction...

[He glances towards her, reluctantly.]

I request my own floating vehicle!

[Poison, lava...is there anything this so-called Prince of Darkness or whatever can't do? Ochako is having a hard time here, and she has half a mind to simply hop down, plant her hand on his face, then waft away with his floating carcass as quickly as she can. It's not until she actually glimpses--...are those hamster? O-Oh my god...fuzzy babies!! ♥ The poor things are probably so scared.

...Ahem.]

I won't make it back in time if I get another object, but I can float that one! Make room!! [Because she's going to kick off the car and jump down in an effort to land close to or next to Gundam. She has another idea if this one doesn't work, but it's not going to be fun for her... Regardless, she'll cross the bridge when she gets there.]

[They are indeed fuzzy babies. Though they are being strong in the face of danger and cheering their master on!]

So this shall serve as my floating fortress?! [He and the hamsters do indeed clear room for her, luckily it's not too cramped for both of them stand to there. He does seem a bit nervous though, now that she's close.]

V-very well. Cast your spell and be done with it! N-not many mortals' minds can survive proximity to the overwhelming nature of my diabolical presence, after all!

[Once they are all safe and sound, Ochako might request to hold one of them. T-To make...sure they're alright!!! OF COURSE!!!! But for the moment, she has to really concentrate on the task at hand. Touching down on the slab of concrete, she takes in a deep breath and steels herself. This is going to quite literally make her nauseous, but she's been training up to it. It'll be okay. A little sick is fine, if she can hold it down long enough to get them to safety.]

Brace yourself. [Because the moment all five fingers touch the large piece of debris they're on, the lava gurgles and pop as the now weightless object begins to rise up slowly, a few chunks of it peeling off at the edges as the magma tries desperately to cling to and keep them grounded.] Move toward the center, behind me!! Don't go near the edges, they won't be stable until all of this is up in the air! Urp.

[Her stomach churns, and Ochako's face is getting paler by the second, but she centers herself with some quick breathing exercises - thank you, Gunhead Martial Arts, for both strengthening her body as well as her ki - and chokes it down for a little while longer.]

Once we're up, I can push us to safety. [The boosters in her heels should work perfectly for propulsion. She can float herself, but choosing the direction wasn't possible without support items. Ochako will just have to trust that the ones that Hatsume girl made are...hm.

Functional.]

[As nervous as he may feel, he can't help but be impressed at seeing her power in action! How he wishes that he could wield such a quirk... though he'd claim to have much stronger quirks anyway!]

Very well. I- I shall go along with your word for now.

[He then nervously shuffles behind her. His hamsters perch on his shoulder, though the sleepy one ends up landing on Ochako's shoulder instead and makes itself comfortable.

Then he watches in awe as they rise!]

Splendid! Not bad f-for a mortal hero! [Although, especially now that he's closer, he can't help but notice that something seems to be wrong.] ...Is something the matter? [He asks, trying not to let anything resembling concern color his words.]

[Honestly, Ochako would argue that no quirk is really stronger or weaker than another - it just depends on how, when, and where they're used. Besides, she's had special schooling on how to react to these exact types of situations, so she has to think on her feet and plan all her moves ten steps ahead. That's what it means to be a hero.

She startles slightly at the small, soft object that lands on her, but when she sees it's a sleepy hamster, her face softens and she feels her nausea all but disappear. Oh...she's been blessed. ;w; ♥]

C-Cutie....! You're like a little mochi! [She can't help but turn her cheek to give it a little cuddle, but then snaps back to attention. Shit she needs to focus!! Tenderly, she'll scoop her little buddy into one hand and gingerly hold it back out to Gundam.] I'm fine now, thank you. This little one helped lift my spirits, but what I'm going to do next is very dangerous, so I can't hold them right now. But I'll make sure each one of you is safe!!

[She rubs its head with one finger, cooing, despite herself. She may be a rookie hero, but she is still a young girl, and she is not immune to cute animals in the slightest.]

[The hamster gives a delighted little snoozle at the mini-cuddle, and then Gundam delicately collects the ham in his hands.]

Oh Mirage Golden Hawk Jum-P, you are destined to sleep through even the end of days...! [He says that soothingly, a bit of a contrast to the tone he's been using thus far. Though some more edge returns to his voice as he addresses his savior again.]

Kehehe! Such is the power of one of the Dark Devas of Destruction. [The power of cuteness?] With your mana supplies refreshed, show me your ultimate plan! I'm interested to see how far you get.

[And, well, interested in living too. He feels a lot more invested in this girl's success now that they're all floating in the sky in addition to being over lava!]

[Wow, that's uh...quite a name. Ochako will probably be shortening it to Jum-P-chan or similar, but that's when they get out of this mess. But she is thankful for the sleepy creampuff's presence, it really did help lift her spirits in such a stressful endeavor. But...it's not entirely over, so she really has to focus now. This next piece of the rescue is going to be a bit tricky.]

Thank you!! I'm going to swing over the side and start to push, so get ready, okay? Make sure none of your animals get loose, either. [Because she will dive to save them. A tiny, fuzzy friend is still an important part of any hero's duty to protect and serve and their lives are no less important.] Alright, ready? Brace yourself!

[Ochako races to the edge of the slab of concrete, seeming to dive off the edge before activating her quirk on herself, becoming weightless herself before she plummets into the heat down below. Clicking the heels of her hero costume, some boosters kick in and give her more ease to direct her trajectory. She places her hands on the side of the large piece of debris and begins to push. Thankfully, a weightless objects moves far easier than something effected by gravity, but it's still slow going.]

Let me know when we're clear of the lava!! I can't see when I'm pushing this, so I'll need your help, okay?! Just don't get too close to the edge, I don't trust the stability of this thing! B-But no matter what, I'll protect your and your friends, so just hold on a bit longer.

[She can't go wrong with that, he does end up just saying Jum-P most of the time himself.

As she provides instructions, Gundam nods firmly, while his hamsters take shelter within his scarf.]

Of course! I shall let my own body act as an anchor for the support of the Four Dark Devas of Destruction! They shall be safe from the miasma below...

[He spreads his arms out and braces himself. He's once more both surprised and impressed as she goes into action, this time moving the slab through the air.]

Impressive! This... this truly is the floating mobile fortress of the Tanaka Empire! [He can't get too caught up in joy, however. Not when it's clear that the hero is struggling to push him forward.]

...Do not worry. I shall let you know the moment we are clear of the cursed river. ...It... it is the least of the actions I could perform, to acknowledge your diligence.

[While keeping himself steady, he keeps watch over the edge. Almost there. Almost there...!]

[D-Dark Devas of...what now? The only thing Ochako things those little cream puffs could destroy would probably be a cucumber...

And he just keeps going about a floating fortress and some sort of empire or whatever, too. It sort of reminds her a little of Monoma's babbling, just at least this isn't flat-out insulting, just bizarre and boisterous. It's far better, Ochako thinks to herself, than someone who was panicked and screaming. He's being extremely cooperative and very brave, even if she can easily hear the tremble in his voice. It's, uh...not exactly subtle. Though she'd wager not a damn thing about this stranger is at all subtle.

The slab is still scorching, and Ochako hadn't really taken that into account. It was partially submerged in a river of lava, after all. Not only that, but this big thing is aggravating her nausea something fierce, too... If she can focus on one thing, it'd negate the other, so Ochako sets her jaw and tries to keep her mind sharp, ignoring the gurgle of her stomach and instead pinpointing the burn of her palms. It's fine...it's fine. She can get Recovery Girl to patch them up later, surely. This is nothing.]

Th-Thank you!! [She'd say more to pep him up, but it's difficult to do more than one thing at once right now.]

[They absolutely would destroy a cucumber, but that's neither here nor there!

Gundam tries to remain purely confident in the face of danger. Surely he isn't sweating nervously at the same time! They've got this. The flying girl is pushing his mobile fortress, and the Dark Devas are safely contained on his person. He's unaware of the current state of his savior, but he also does not want to make her push herself this much for his sake much longer.

So once they move beyond the lava zone, he's quick to point it out.]

Behold! We have moved beyond the veil of magma. Now... now is the time for hell's cruise to set its anchor! Your work nears its end, Lady of the Skies...!

[Perfect. Ochako wheezes, spits out a bit of sick that bubbled up in her throat despite her best efforts, and swings herself back up onto the platform. Her poor hands are pretty red and raw - and they ache like hell - but that doesn't stop her from keeping on. No rest until everyone is safe, an injury or two is just part of what may or may not happen during rescues. Ochako knows this, and she accepts it. Better her than someone who couldn't handle it half as well as she can.]

Perfect!! Thank you for all your help! [She bows slightly, then looks out just to be sure there's nothing below them that could get seriously damaged once she releases the object from zero gravity. The last thing Ochako needs is for an evacuee or their home getting squashed under this big piece of rubble.] I'm going to begin bringing this thing down, and it's not a perfected or easy process. If we begin to lose altitude quickly, you need to grab onto me, okay?

[Releasing this thing is no issue, that's easy, but considering they're still on it...dropping it entirely would be more harmful than anything. A partial release is...indeed not perfected, and something she's been working at during her work study, but the basics of it she has down. Holding three fingers together, Ochako mumbles as the pads on her fingertips glow a soft pink.]

Partial release! [And, slowly, their "fortress" begins to descend as its weight begins to return.]

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THE FLOOR IS LITERALLY LAVA

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